


Febuwhump 2021 Edition

by Eurus91



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Aftermath, Blood, Episode: s04e10 Tesla + Bell + Edition + Mac, FebuWhump2021, Gunshot Wounds, Needles, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Touching, Panic Attacks, Rape/Non-con Elements, Vomit, What-If, Whump, Whump Mac, consensual drug use, nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:06:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29177673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eurus91/pseuds/Eurus91
Summary: Day 11 - HallucinationsMac is given the experimental drug created by DARPA, but this time Jack is with him.
Comments: 28
Kudos: 39





	1. Imprisonment

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure I can complete every day, meanwhile, here is day three.

_“Mac, kid, can you open your eyes for me? You can do it?”_

Mac shakes his head and moans. His dizziness assails him despite his eyes closed. Despite the darkness of him threatening to swallow him. The side that rests on the ground hurts. It is damp, the stones it is made of sting, the cold penetrates inside it making it tremble. He curls up more wrapping his arms around him, trying not to lose what little heat he has left. His black shirt, now worn and soaked, is not enough to stop the shivers that start to shake him. 

_"Open your eyes Mac!"_

He is tired, so tired, he would like to go to sleep. Indulge in sleep that promises calm and pain-free moments, but the man's voice seems urgent, worried. He obeys, the little light that filters through the small window above hurts his eyes. Dry and red eyes. He is alone. Jack isn't there. He would like to cry but he doesn't have the strength. Jack has never been on this mission or on that before. It's been missing for months now. He is at the same time feeling sheer terror and relief. If Jack isn't here, he's safe and sound. The terrorists didn't catch him. Jack is fine. Maybe. 

“Jack!" He calls him, oblivious to the fact that his jailers can hear him, while the cough suddenly shakes him. His chest hurts. He feels hot and cold, he knows the fever is rising.

_“Don't go to sleep, not yet”_

Jack's voice is back. And he wants to cry again. And he almost does. Lonely tears stream down his dirty cheeks. He is disoriented, the world tilts dangerously when he tries to turn on his back. The metal bars seem to mock him. Nausea overwhelms him. He wants to throw up but he can't. He is dehydrated and tired. He is not sure he can resist another encounter with his captors. They hit him hard, too close to home this time. When waterboarding didn't work they switched to drugs. He didn't say anything. He didn't reveal any useful information. He has resisted until now. What if he did it instead? What if he spoke and the Phoenix rejected him? They will leave him in that place. They will forget about him. He is afraid.

_"You're doing so well kid”_

Jack's voice reassures him. Mac shakes his head, not succumbing to the lure of the imaginary Jack. He disagrees with that voice he hasn't heard for a long time, despite being comfortable and familiar.

"I want to go back home"

He complains. And then he scolds himself because he looks like a temperamental child. You are trained for it, says a part of him, you knew what you were going through when you signed up. Yes, but I was not alone.

" _Soon_ "

Once again that voice intrudes, and Mac can almost feel Jack's fingers brush his forehead and swear at the too high temperature. And he lets himself go. If he's going to die, at least his mind has been kind. Footsteps are heard, then gunshots, and more footsteps, but he's too exhausted to care.

When he opens his eyes he is in the hospital. His cell is gone, so is that uncomfortable ground. He is lying between soft sheets and has an IV in his left hand. He does his best not to flinch.

"Take it easy Hoss, we've just refurbished you, don't you want to frustrate the doctors' efforts?" Mac closes his eyes. It can not be true. It's not true.

"You're not real, you're not real”

He murmurs like a litany. He feels panic enveloping his bowels. He cannot understand what is real and what is not. He is afraid that if he opens his eyes again he will find himself back in that cold cell. Which is all a dream caused by who knows what substance runs through his veins.  
“I'm here Mac. I'm here and I'm real. Open your eyes.”  
  
And Mac does, and he's still in the hospital and Jack is still there.


	2. Gunpoint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 - ALT 9 Gunpoint
> 
> He is too young to have experience with gunshot wounds.

He is too young to have experience with gunshot wounds.

He is too young to have received so many that she can claim to have experience.

And despite this elusive experience, every time it is as if it were the first time.

At just thirty, he has an impressive record: Cairo, Lake Como, Murdoc and despite his body she knows what to expect, muscle memory and all the rest, panic explodes every time. 

Paralyzing him.

Part of her brain knows that her body stiffens to cushion the blow.

When a bullet enters your body, it absorbs much of the momentum the bullet was carrying. All that strength has to go somewhere.

" _Survivinge a bullet is luck_ "

He says a voice that sounds much like the instructor at the time of his DXS recruitment.

And suddenly Mac finds himself at the academy. A younger man, confident of doing the right thing by choosing to serve a greater good. A smiling and unaware he.

He tries to chase that annoying memory away.

He slowly shakes his head causing black spots that invade his vision. He presses against the wound, prepared for the pain he knows is coming. He avoids looking down, ignores the bloodstained hand. Hot liquid that slips away from his natural seat.

“ _It's not like the movies_ ”, continues the voice of his instructor “ _To survive is destiny."_

He has always played with luck.

Him living a life waiting for his luck to run out.

Macabre red stripes mark the wall he leans against. Exhausted, a shocked body.

" _Blood loss is what kills most people”_

He would like to tell his instructor that he knows, to shut up but even in his fantasies he is a good soldier. Deaf to the pain of his own body, he continues to walk. His tiredness begins to envelop him like a warm blanket. A promise of a pain-free place. But he can't stop.

He has to call Jack. 

He has to get to Jack.

And Jack is there, running towards him and grabbing him just before his body hits the ground.

The man's hand replaces his on the wound. She is strong and purposeful and he moans weakly.

"I'm here, I got you. It'll be fine!"

And Mac knows, experience teaches, if Jack is there he'll be fine. 


	3. Take me instead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5 - Take me instead
> 
> Mac is not good at fixing himself.

Water flows over his battered body. Inoffensive. 

And he sighs, almost with pleasure, in feeling his tense and sore muscles relax under the jet of hot water. The scent of his bubble bath fills the small space, hot and fragrant steam that invades his nostrils. Smell of berries and talc that keeps it grounded. He roots it. Everything seems to be in his place, an ordinary day of an ordinary day. He purses his lips and tilts his head a little upwards, letting the water hit his face and wash away the dirt and tears that he hadn't noticed he was shedding.

From the outside everything seemed fine and even inside he was in pieces. He had always bragged that he could fix anything. Whatever object came to him, why wasn't he as good with people? Why wasn't he as good at fixing himself?

He had been in the shower for a while and despite this it didn't seem like enough. He still felt dirty, inadequate, as if he had done something deeply wrong and had to wash it off thoroughly.

It was already the second shower. He had done the first one early that morning, taking advantage of the fact that Jack slept soundly on the old sofa in the living room. Part of him is fully aware that Jack is aware of his frequent showers (and other habits he has taken), but another part wallows in his naivety.

Almost reluctantly he closes the jet of water, shivering from the sudden lack of heat.

He pours a generous amount of peach shampoo into his palm and began to lather his head.

In hindsight he should have seen it coming.

_ “Come on Angus, say something!" _

_ The note of amusement in Murdoc's words made him feel sick. He would definitely have vomited if he hadn't had his mouth plugged with a thick layer of dark tape. _

_ "Ah yes! You can't…” Murdoc chuckled, rubbing his hands excitedly. Plastic versus plastic screech. _

_ "We'll have fun Angus, don't you think so too?" _

One moment Mac is taking a shower, the second after he is doubled over on the wet floor. A puddle of water widens below him. His stomach twitches painfully as he tries to expel the night before's dinner of nachos and guacamole.

The memory of Murdoc's gloved fingers in his hair is too much.

Worst of all, it was the very touch of him that triggered the flashback. Awareness of him almost makes him bend over again.

He closes his eyes, trying to draw air between one retching and the next. His stomach twitches once more and he groans. A mixture of pain and despair.

“It's okay, you're okay, I got you” Jack's voice is calm, conciliatory. His hands flap around Mac, trying to figure out if he tolerated his touch. He can see dark bruises adorning Mac's arms. If he focuses he can even recognize the bony shape of Murdoc's fingers.

Mac wants to answer that no, he's not fine.

Jack quivers with anger and despair at the sight of his devastated partner, while he resists the urge to run his hands through the boy's hair. A gesture that Mac has always found comforting and now no longer because of Murdoc.

"Breathe Mac. Take some deep breaths..." And he listens to him.

He breathes slowly and calms down.

"Are you feeling better?" Jack asks after a while, breathing relieved when the boy nods, regaining his composure, trying to put his walls up again. To compartmentalize emotions.

Jack walks away just enough to grab a washcloth and start drying it ignoring the tremor.

He just hopes it's because of the cold and not because he's touching him.

And that's when Jack swears he'll kill Murdoc with his hands. He will find it and kill it.

"You should have let me take your place” he whispers softly as he helps Mac to his feet swaying in place.

"It was up to me..." Mac replies, sounding more like himself and Jack winces not even realizing he said it out loud


	4. Hey, hey, this is no time to sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short sequel to "Gunpoint"
> 
> There is too much blood and Jack is afraid.

“Matty, we need help here. Mac is injured." 

He would like to add gravely, but she is afraid that if he says it out loud, things will get worse.

"Come on Mac, open those blue eyes for me..." Jack asks, examining him for other wounds he hasn't seen. And Mac does. More or less. He lifts his eyelids wearily and pulls his lips into a grotesque smile. Lips stained with blood. Breath coming out muffled, too fast, and beats too weak. Just a flicker.

"You're here..." He mumbles. It's not a question, but it sounds a lot like one. He is suffering. Every part of his body hurts and Jack knows from unfortunate experience that he hurts hell. Saying those three words exhausted him, leaving him without strength. The color fades quickly from the boy's face leaving him pale, translucent.

"Yes, I’m here..." And Jack hardens his heart as he presses on the wound and Mac arches, trying to escape the pain and screams.

“I know it hurts, but it will be okay. I promise you..."

Jack can see the fulfillment in Mac's eyes, that moment when his confidence builds. And he secretly begs not to turn him into a liar. He doesn't want to lose Mac.

Jack almost panics when he sees Mac's eyes drop. He can feel Mac's life slip away. Heat that vanishes.

And he is afraid and afraid to admit it.

"Hey now, it's not time to go to sleep..." he says, while with awkward movements he tries to take off his jacket to use it to stop the bleeding. The blood does not stop.

"Open those damn eyes!" He screams, and Jack almost misses Matty warning him that rescue is at the warehouse. 


	5. Hallucinations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 11 - Hallucinations
> 
> Mac is given the experimental drug created by DARPA, but this time Jack is with him.

"Does that sound like a bad idea only to me?" Asks, apprehensively, Jack as he looks for the gaze of everyone present in the Phoenix laboratory. Bozer shrugs, he has long since learned not to contradict Mac when he gets something in his head. 

Matty is steadfast, she loves the boy wonder and wants to protect him but sometimes she has to serve a greater good. 

Mac keeps his eyes down, the chair he is lying on suddenly seems uncomfortable and tortures his hands in his lap. Jack makes a mental note to find a paper clip and give it to him. Lines of pain are still present on his face and Jack knows they won't go away anytime soon, especially if they decide to stage this show.

"Mac are you sure?" Jack finally turns to the person concerned and Mac opens his mouth, tries to say something only to repent and nod. Jack wants to scream, he wants to scream at Matty and tell him to stop relying on Mac's self-sacrifice. He's important. He works hard to make him understand it on every mission, he can't blow everything every time.

"You heard Dr. Mac, drugs and brain damage in the same sentence." Now Jack is practically screaming, his Texan accent picking up. He does it whenever he's upset.

"I heard Jack ..." Mac replies, rubbing the base of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, trying to relieve the headache that has now manifested itself in all his strength.

"It doesn't seem like Mac. You rang the bells loud enough, you can't make decisions like that!"

The boy rolls his eyes and snorts in frustration.

"Do we have another choice?" The Question sounds rhetorical, but everyone in the room knows who it is for.

Matty shakes her head slowly, a mixture of apology and sorrow on her face.

“So let’s do it”

"All right. Bozer? " Matty attracts the boy's attention and he gives a brief nod in listening "Call the DARPA, ask for Doctor Cheryl."

"Yessir," And Bozer disappears from the lab, silence falls between them and Mac hopes he's made the right decision.

The doctor, a cheerful-looking young woman, wanders around Mac, checking vital parameters. If it weren't for the odd situation in which this doctor is so excited about shoving an experimental drug into her boyfriend, he would have also liked Jack. "Here's what we will do” she say with the white lab coat that she flutters with every movement while she fastens a blood pressure cuff around the boy's bicep.

"First I'll give you the drug that also contains DMT” she waited a few seconds, just afraid to get the information to those present, "then a sedative. It will allow you to move among your memories"

Mac nods as he moves his right hand trying to reactivate the circulation and make the task of drawing a vein easier.

"Wait, once Mac is the beauty asleep in the laboratory, how do we wake him up?" Asks Jack, who hadn't abandoned his position next to the boy. He had carried a swivel chair and perched next to Mac. Crossed arms and serious gaze, except for the occasional reassuring smile when Mac's eyes wander in search of him.

"We can't”, the doctor replied simply, accompanying her words with a shrug. "It will be the adrenaline caused by the discovery that will wake him up“ Mac opens his eyes wide at that sudden change of perspective. Hands on armrests and body tense, as if suddenly that situation was too much even for him.

"Okay, we'll cross that bridge when we get there, but if you don't feel safe Mac”

The man tries again, offer a loophole and the boy ignores her, while carefully observing the approaching doctor, equipped with disinfectant and cotton. The smell of alcohol invades his nostrils and Mac closes his eyes. It shouldn't be such a familiar smell, he shouldn't be used to that. He feels his heart threatening to come out of his chest and he is grateful they haven't turned on the heart rate monitor yet.

"Hey Mac, look at me ok?" Jack's voice is calm, reassuring, a balm for Mac's tense nerves that have begun to vibrate with anxiety every time there are needles in the way. "Not the doctor or the needle, me”.

Mac opens his eyes that he hadn't even noticed he had closed while his hand instinctively searches for Jack's. He fingers that intertwine with him after a brief wander. Strong and reassuring.

"I'm fine” he says instinctively as he swallows convulsively, looking Jack in the eyes of him, and the man realizes that he is reassuring himself more than the small spectators of this surreal scene.

"Yes, I'm sure you are..." Jack murmurs, as he resists the urge to fix the sweaty locks from the boy's frown and gasps with compassion when Mac does too.

The needle penetrates the tender skin of his arm. Disappearing slowly. He feels the liquid enter the vein, slowly rise up his arm, burning, cold, thick. Every millimeter made by the liquid turns into a burning agony. And Mac gasps, he wasn't prepared for this feeling. He squeezes Jack's hand and he squeezes it back.

On the other hand, Jack tries to keep himself from breaking the doctor's hand, especially when he sees lines of pain accentuate on the boy's face. He is suffering, he can see it even though he is doing his best to hide it.

"Done." The woman who extracts the needle rejoices and places a white cotton ball on the small drop of blood that looks threatening on the pale skin of the hollow of Mac's arm. "Now it's the sedative's turn. Please close your eyes and start counting from ten”

The boy nods as he tries ca to regain some composure. He seems to falter in place as he settles himself better in the chair

"I'll be here." Jack promises as Mac battles the sedatives. Pure instinct that takes over. "Don't fight it Mac, I'm here."

That evening, when the mission is complete, they are all gathered around the fire. It had been a grueling day for everyone, especially for the boy who had suffered from a concussion and then had a nice trip down the rabbit hole, coming out of it by a whisker.

They are not surprised that he is silent all afternoon.

Mac is rethinking what happened in his head.

Meeting his evil self was not a pleasant experience. He hurt. Everything about that experience did.

Jack keeps an eye on him as he tries to involve him with poor results in an argument. "Are you okay?" Jack asks now sincerely worried when the boy gets up and goes to the kitchen to get some water. For a moment he was lost again. He feels observed, as if two pairs of identical eyes followed him everywhere. The little theater in his head has upset him more than he actually realizes.

"I'm just tired maybe” He replies to the man who followed him, his voice sounds so weak that Jack almost breaks. He sees him sway in place, as if his whole world has turned upside down, he sees him leaning heavily on the kitchen counter. Breath wheezing and shaking.

"I still see it..." he whispers, as if his hallucination could really hear him.

"Who?" Jack asks, looking around furtively. "Myself. Him. He is here.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native speaker, therefore I apologize for any mistakes and Thank you for reading 💙


End file.
